Olwyn KinderFinding Love Again in your Twilight Years
October 28th 2010 01:30
Link: wheretonow.com.au
After being in a relationship that may have spanned many decades, elderly folk often find it difficult to take steps to find a loving companion to fill the shoes left by their previous partner. For several reasons, many seniors will be single again and would love to have a caring companion, or partner, to help enjoy their twilight years.
Quite a few, both men and women, will be survivors of a long-time relationship with a spouse now deceased or a recent divorce. Some will be looking for love and others will just have a need for some companionship, someone to share their time with.
For people in marriages spanning 30 or 40 years and suddenly single, the thought of dating again might be a scary proposition.
If you feel awkward and tentative about making contacts that could lead to romance or companionship, remember that the other person might feel the same way, too.
Dating after decades of not being single can be stressful and fill you with self-doubt and apprehension. Temporarily unanswerable questions might surface and bounce around in your mind until you start thinking about not wanting to date again. That's a very common result of reduced confidence from lack of current experience. If you are experiencing these thoughts, the good news is that you will recover with some self-assessment and a few dating tips.
The biggest hurdle you might have to overcome is whether or not you are ready to date. It would be easy to try to fill that lonely spot in your heart with another that reminds you of old times. If that is what you are trying to do, you are probably not ready for new and exciting experiences with someone new.
Grieving is a personal experience and there is no template to follow. When you are ready to accept that your spouse is not returning and can put those memories away in a safe place in your heart and mind, it will be time to consider finding new companionship.
Take your time with this step in your healing process. Try and mix with other singles in your age group. Visit clubs and senior activity centres to make new friendships that might lead to a loving relationship. Socialize with your friends and be willing to meet up with them at nearby cafés and restaurants. If you are up to it and still reside at home, why not arrange a small intimate dinner party and invite couples and singles alike including those who you would like to strike up a deeper relationship with.
Find attractions in your area that would be interesting to your friends, like a local fair or book signing and make it a group event. If your town has a local baseball team, take a friend to a game and eat hot dogs and root for the home team. Have an occasional card party and play pinochle or poker with friends.
Spring home and garden shows are always a fun event. Invite some friends to join you and stop for coffee or ice cream on the way home to discuss all the new things you saw at the show.
When caring friends try to set you up with dates or tell you that "It's time you started dating again," thank them but do not get pushed into a series of blind dates or other "accidental meetings" to help you "get over it."
When you are ready to find your own companionship, you will. Take your time and let yourself heal some before you try to fill your life with another.
Quite a few, both men and women, will be survivors of a long-time relationship with a spouse now deceased or a recent divorce. Some will be looking for love and others will just have a need for some companionship, someone to share their time with.
If you feel awkward and tentative about making contacts that could lead to romance or companionship, remember that the other person might feel the same way, too.
Dating after decades of not being single can be stressful and fill you with self-doubt and apprehension. Temporarily unanswerable questions might surface and bounce around in your mind until you start thinking about not wanting to date again. That's a very common result of reduced confidence from lack of current experience. If you are experiencing these thoughts, the good news is that you will recover with some self-assessment and a few dating tips.
The biggest hurdle you might have to overcome is whether or not you are ready to date. It would be easy to try to fill that lonely spot in your heart with another that reminds you of old times. If that is what you are trying to do, you are probably not ready for new and exciting experiences with someone new.
Grieving is a personal experience and there is no template to follow. When you are ready to accept that your spouse is not returning and can put those memories away in a safe place in your heart and mind, it will be time to consider finding new companionship.
Take your time with this step in your healing process. Try and mix with other singles in your age group. Visit clubs and senior activity centres to make new friendships that might lead to a loving relationship. Socialize with your friends and be willing to meet up with them at nearby cafés and restaurants. If you are up to it and still reside at home, why not arrange a small intimate dinner party and invite couples and singles alike including those who you would like to strike up a deeper relationship with.
Find attractions in your area that would be interesting to your friends, like a local fair or book signing and make it a group event. If your town has a local baseball team, take a friend to a game and eat hot dogs and root for the home team. Have an occasional card party and play pinochle or poker with friends.
Spring home and garden shows are always a fun event. Invite some friends to join you and stop for coffee or ice cream on the way home to discuss all the new things you saw at the show.
When caring friends try to set you up with dates or tell you that "It's time you started dating again," thank them but do not get pushed into a series of blind dates or other "accidental meetings" to help you "get over it."
When you are ready to find your own companionship, you will. Take your time and let yourself heal some before you try to fill your life with another.
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